Birthday Cakes & Benefits

Listening to the radio this morning on my way into work, they listed the 8 friends you should have before you turn 30. This gave me an idea for my weekly blog. Here are, in my opinion, the 5 things you need before you are 30. Keep in mind that I am, not as of yet, 30 so take my opinion with a grain of salt. I actually think these are 5 things you need even if you are older than 30. Since I am not yet 30- I have a couple more years to work on my five things. Ok here we go:

First you need to have a Good Friend or friends. Someone or some ones who encompasses all the 8 friends you should have before you are 30. Someone who will help you figure out what to wear to your business dinners, someone to help you paint your bedroom, someone that’s up for anything, someone to hit the spin classes with, someone you can vent to, someone who can teach you things, someone who will travel with you, and someone to hit the local scene with. For me all 8 of these people can be found in, my husband, my mother, and my girl friends Sarah & Lindsay. Between the four of them I can always find a shoulder to lean on, an opinion, advice, and a fun time. My support circle might be small but it is solid. I also try to be these 8 important friends to them. They let me be who I am and enjoy what I do. They are a must have before you are 30.

Second you need to have Your Own Place. We are seeing a greater trend of people who continue to live with their parents even after college, but to truly discover who you are as a person you need to be on your own. For me my home is my sanctuary. It’s the place that at the end of the day I want to be. It’s my happy place. It’s my safe place. It’s the place where I can be cranky, or creative, or relaxed. Everyone needs to create their own home… so before you are 30 you should move out! Now don’t get me wrong, I have strong ties to my parents… I actually live across the street from them… I don’t want to discredit family roots. They are important too but hopefully, if you are lucky, you established these long before 30.

Third you need to have a Positive Social Outlet. This is a place that gets you involved with other people, outside your family and pocket full of friends. Someplace that maybe pushes you to be involved in community, or religion, or a healthy lifestyle. For many this is an association, a church, or a gym. I have not yet found my Social Outlet. I am a bit anti-social by nature and often try and avoid social gatherings. This is a must have before 30 and even after. You want to stay relevant, engaging, and have substance beyond what you do for a living. Finding a positive way to spend some social time will give you this. I am in search of the right outlet for me. If you have suggestions please feel free to leave a comment.


Fourth you need a good Primary Care Doctor. As we get older our need for a doctor that knows us and understands how our unique body works is essential to quality medical care. When medical conditions arise we want someone who understands how we should be operating as a human being, and knows how our body will react. If you have a good primary care doctor, who you have been seeing regularly, they will know your history. Things like, family history, daily activity, and current medications will already be in their files. They will be able to recognize and diagnose problems sooner. This benefit can actually save your life. If you don’t already have a Primary Care Doctor, you need to establish one! A life important need before you are 30, a must have!

Finally fifth, you need a good Insurance Agent. I think it’s important to find an agent that you can trust. That, like your doctor, will know your history. As we get older and our life grows, we buy cars, homes, have children. Our needs for coverage will grow and change. You want someone who will be there to explain the complicated maze of insurance. The Virginia Farm Bureau has an office in over 100 counties in VA. In each office there is someone licensed and appointed in Life, Health & Property and Casualty insurances. As a company they are also committed to community. They fight the good fight for local farmers, and sponsor initiatives like Save Our Food. When you buy insurance from the Virginia Farm Bureau you are not just spending money on insurance companies, you are investing in our local agriculture, and helping promote Safe, Fresh & Locally grown food.

Now that you are ready for your 30th birthday, the rest is just cake! Happy Birthday Everyone! :-)

Boating & Roasted Almonds

About a week ago my family and I went to the Richmond Boat show. Richmond has one every year in February. This is almost a tradition for my family. Since I was a little girl I can remember piling into the car and going to see all the pretty shinny watercrafts on display. As a family we like to go, and get our excitement increased for the spring and summer seasons headed our way. We will sit, poised on the bow of a pretty speed boat and imagine the warm weather is here. I even remember one year as a young girl, my parents buying a boat, on a whim. Very exciting stuff!

This year was extra special because I got to take my husband, and my little boy. As the big nerd I claim to be, I came prepared with my camera to capture images of my 9 month old, posed, driving boats, jet skis, & motorcycles. Not that I am ever going to allow him to have a motorcycle but it made a great picture. As you can see!

Now while everyone gets all wrapped up in their dreams of boating, water sports, and summer, I tend to go for one main reason. The All American Nut Roasters Company always, every year, has a booth. They turn out these wonderfully smelling, fantastic tasting, warm sugary roasted almonds, pecans, & cashews. While I did indulge myself and picked out my dream boat (the shinny yellow one in the picture) I truly go to the boat show to enjoy these yummy treats.

Walking into the boat show, instead of smelling leather, boat fuel, & fiberglass, all you smell is roasted almonds coated in cinnamon & brown sugar. Once you seek out the booth, they fill a triangular paper bag full of the warm sugary treat, and like at a fair or carnival you can wander around, munching along the way.

My husband, being the wonderful man he is, decided we should be able to enjoy these delectable treats more often than once a year. As we were planning to leave, he went back to the All American Nut Roaster’s booth in hopes of getting marketing material that contained an order form or website. We figured we could order them online and enjoy all year round. Unfortunately All American Nut Roasters does not have a website or order form. My husband returned with a folded up paper bag containing a hand written phone number (540-972-0166) exclaiming that they only took phone orders. – We have not yet ordered any nuts. Had they had a website, I truly believe I would have logged on and ordered some treats.

This made me think again about the importance of having an online presence. As an agent I always make sure that when offering products, I give my clients as many options as I can on how to buy; in person, online, or via paper application. What All American Nut Roasters' doesn't realize is they are losing business simply because they are not available online. It's estimated that 70% of the United States population is on the Web. As agents you want to make sure you are proudly displaying your webpage, and subweb link in all of your marketing materials. We want all of our clients to enjoy our warm, sugary treats whenever they choose.

As a Client Do You Have Separation Anxiety?

I try very hard to make a morning routine for my family. My son – who is 9 months old, gets up every morning around 4:30am. I feed him and normally he falls back to sleep. At this point it’s hovering around 5am. I will shower, dress, prep the bottles for the day, make sure the diaper bag is packed, etc. all while my family quietly sleeps. Around 6:30 my son will begin to stir again. We turn the lights on, get him up, changed into day clothes, make Cream of Wheat (his all time favorite food), eat, load up the car, and head off to the dreaded Daycare drop off. This is where my morning inevitably will go south.

My 9 month old is suffering from what I can only guess is Separation Anxiety. Separation anxiety is a developmental stage during which the child experiences anxiety when separated from the primary caregiver (usually the mother). Basically he screams his cute little head off any time I leave him. As a mother, this is currently the most difficult thing going on in my life. My heart literally hurts every morning. It takes every muscle in my being- and the conscious reminding that I love my job, to not turn around and run home with my son. Needless to say it starts my day off on the wrong foot.

All the experts say to help with the anxiety your infant is experiencing, as parents, we should leave our child with a trusted babysitter, who can bond with the child, and teach the child it’s ok to have relationships outside of their parents. My Daycare center makes this very difficult. They have constant staff turn over. On a regular basis someone new is watching my son. Plus they have “shift” changes. So the person you leave your son with in the morning is not the same person you pick him up from. I can only feel this adds to my son’s anxiety. (We are currently looking into new care for him)

When I think back on this “Separation Anxiety” condition that 9 out of 10 infants experience I can only wonder if the need for personal care is part of the nature vs. nurture debate. As young infants we recognize the importance of knowing who is caring for us, trusting them, and continuing a lasting relationship. This seems to be a knowledge we are born with. Babies are not only born with this realization but they also feel strongly enough to fight for personal care. They scream their cute little heads off.

Working for the Virginia Farm Bureau, this personal care is something as agents we offer our clients. We have offices in over 100 counties in the state of Virginia. We are local. Virginia Farm Bureau also seems to have a strong belief in the importance of their employees. In my department alone, the majority of the individuals working with me have worked for Farm Bureau longer than 10 years. It’s a great place to be.

As clients people have a choice where they buy their health insurance. They can work with a call center (the Daycares of the health insurance world)and speak to someone new every time they have an issue, or they can work with an agent that is local, trusted, and familiar. This is a value. Our clients don’t have to worry that Separation Anxiety is going to set in. They know we are here, we aren’t going anywhere, and we are eager to help.

Bring on The Chicken Soup

Here in Virginia we have been plummeted with snow this season. With this cold weather also comes the flu & virus season. My family has been sick for what feels like forever. My son goes to daycare and brings every bug, flu, virus he can find home with him. It’s always a case of pass the sickness. First he is sick, then after caring for him I get sick, finally after caring for me my husband will get sick. It never fails. The problem with this is as a family, we are never well at the same time. It’s likely we are constantly operating at only 2/3 to 1/3 capacity. It’s exhausting. Plus we all have different ways we like to be taken care of when we are sick. My little one turns into another appendage on my body. Never letting you put him down, he cries and sleeps his way through sickness.

For me I like to be babied. My husband probably hates this quality in me even though he never lets me know it. Personally I would drive myself nuts if I was taking care of me when I was sick. (I truly hope this last sentence made sense.) I want my husband to constantly bring me food, water, warm wash cloths, medicine, etc. as I battle my way through sickness. And bless him my husband complies.

My husband is the complete opposite. He wants to be left completely alone. He doesn’t want to be brought soup, or have concern poured over him. He wants to shut off in his room with the blankets over his head until the sickness has evaporated.

Our conflicting styles cause for very interesting interactions when one of us gets sick. He will avoid “bothering” me when I am sick leaving me feeling neglected, and I am constantly trying to sooth (aka bother) him. After about 6 years of marriage and a stretch of consecutive sicknesses in the past 3 months we are finally beginning to read each others signals. He will check in on me asking if I want food, water, medicine. I will allow him to hermit himself in his room and do my best to keep things quiet and peaceful.

As agents when dealing with upset clients, its like sickness, we have to learn to read our client’s signals. Do they want to have their problems catered to every moment, with consecutive check backs or even worse, do they shut us off, not asking for help, hoping the issues will evaporate? Either way we need to be adaptable to their needs, knowing when to bring in the chicken soup, or knowing when too much interaction becomes smothering. For most, you will find a happy medium when a little medicine and some quiet rest will fix the situation.

This is all part of building a rapport and relationship with your clients. If you learn how to sooth their needs without coming on too strong or without leaving them feeling neglected, they will be more likely to weather the flu and cold seasons with you.

Be Smart Enough to Say "I Don't Know"

I have written before about how I am currently eating a dairy free diet. It’s due to a milk protein allergy my son has. It’s very important that I don’t eat anything with milk in it, and my son lets me know pretty quickly if I do. When I order any food I am constantly asking, “Does this have milk in it?” “Does the bread used for your sandwich have milk in it?” “Does the sauce you use for your pasta contain cream?” - “No cheese please”. I have learned to read the ingredients on everything, from chips, to sausage, to pesto sauce… I have found a plethora of food that you wouldn’t think contained dairy but does. So I ask every time I order or buy food.

At the grocery store today, I considered ordering a Panini sandwich (no cheese) and asked the lady behind the counter if there was milk in the marble rye bread it came with. She looked at me, blank eyed and stated… “No I wouldn’t think there is”. I quickly responded with “will you please double check for me?” She looked annoyed that I asked her to do more than grill a Panini and stomped off to the back room to check. She returned with the answer of “I don’t know”- Apparently they use an outside vendor for their bread and the bread shows up in a big unmarked box. So there is no way they would know. So why would she tell me otherwise? This reminded me of something my mother has always told me when dealing in my career. “Be smart enough to say I don’t know – but I can find the answer for you”.

It’s always better to be willing to look up an answer than to give a false one. Many times as an agent you can get nervous to say “I don’t know.” The fear that our customer won’t see us as the resource we are takes over and temptation to guess becomes strong. You need to resist. You need to have confidence enough in your intelligence to say I don’t know. You can show how big a resource you are, in the simple fact that you know where to find the answer. This is my tag line in all of my trainings. “Don’t memorize the answer – know where to find it”. Policies change and there are too many details to keep stored in your mind. Even if you are a super genius with a photographic memory, by the time you set it to memory the insurance company will change their policy. Knowing where to find the answer, and being eager and willing to seek it out will be the winning ticket to sales every time. And trust me your clients will be happier knowing you gave them the right answer instead of an immediate one.

Don't Be a Burlington Coat Factory

I have made a few New Years resolutions this year. 1st I want to get better at sending out thank you notes. Second I want to stop spending my weekend days in my PJs. I have resolved to get dressed! – I have already broken this resolution by spending last Sunday in my comfy pajama pants. But what is change without a little set back, right? Third I made the resolution to read more, and by read more I don’t mean the fiction novels that I love. I mean educational stuff, biographies, memoirs, marketing techniques, etc. Whatever subjects my mood dictates, but things that I can interpret and that will become useful.

I made this final resolution in the last week of 2009 and ordered the book The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. This is a book I heard about on Twitter- That’s right I am turning into a social media diva. The book is a memoir of how Gretchen Rubin spent a year trying to be “happier” using different techniques like singing in the morning, cleaning her closets, or reading Aristotle. I figured this would be a great New Years resolution book. I could read it to satisfy my own resolution and maybe learn some fun techniques to bring more happiness into my life. After all who doesn’t want more happiness? She breaks the book up into the 12 months of the calendar year, tackling a different happiness technique each month. So far I am only ½ through January. But while reading about how Gretchen was gaining energy from cleaning out her closets she spoke about a concept that I teach in my trainings for The Virginia Farm Bureau.

I currently work for the Virginia Farm Bureau as a trainer/sales representative. I train newly licensed agents on Individual Health insurance policies. I also sell these policies.

In my training when we get to the part about quoting for you clients, I always, in every workshop, get the same question. “How do I know what to quote?” My answer is always the same. This is the value you are selling as an insurance agent. With the plethora of products available in the market, your clients are looking to you to show them the products that will fit them the best. “Don’t be Burlington Coat Factory”

Gretchen Rubin writes in her book “having few clothing choices made me feel happier. Although people believe they like to have lots of choice, in fact, having too many choices can be discouraging. Instead of making people feel more satisfied, a wide range of options can paralyze them.” This is my Burlington Coat Factory theory in a nutshell.

I can not stand shopping at Burlington Coat Factory for a jacket. There are just too many choices. There are rows and rows on top of rows of jackets. My indecisiveness kicks in and I become flustered. I want the best one, the one that is going to keep me safe and warm. The one I will look good wearing. But which jacket is that? Is it the black one with all the buttons, the brown one with the fur, the yellow one with the hood? Before I know it I am completely overwhelmed and I leave empty handed and “not covered”.

I prefer shopping at the little boutique shops, the choices are far less but I always end up leaving with the purchase I went in seeking. It’s less daunting, there is a sales clerk there to help me, tell me the value of my jacket, and how it looks on me. They assist me in getting covered.

Selling insurance is the same. You want to be up front with your clients, ask them what deductibles feel comfortable to them. Ask them if they want co-pays, or dental riders. Ask them what they like about their current plan. Ask them what options are familiar to them. Narrow the choices down and show them what will fit their wants & needs. Be their sales clerk. Show them a set of policies that will keep them safe and warm. Let them know what policies looks good on them. Sell the value of using you as their agent. Your main goal is to make it less daunting for them. They can buy that insurance anywhere but they can’t get your help anywhere.

No matter what you are selling, jackets with buttons, and fur - or insurance policies with co-pays and deductibles, you want to make sure your clients get the coverage they need and look good while doing it.

Happy to See Me

Ok, here we go... My very first never before seen Blog!

Every morning I eat breakfast. I have to. If you know me then you know I am a VERY slender person. Since I was a little girl and my fellow elementary school mates were calling me "ethi" because they said I looked like I came from Ethiopia I have been very self-conscious about my weight. This is beside the point. Basically I eat breakfast every morning. I need the calories!

I am also a creature of habit, I like to do the same things, routines - I find peace in this. Yes I am that crazy person that walks up to the elevator, and even though the button has already been pushed by the other individual waiting for a lift, I still feel the compulsion to hit the button. It is my routine. Walk up to the elevator - Hit the button - Go for a ride. So it goes without saying that when I visit a restaurant I tend to order the same thing every time.

Most mornings I do one of three things: If I am particularly organized one morning and have allowed time for it I will make myself breakfast in my kitchen. If I am running behind I will run by Panara Bread on my way to work, or if I am really late I will grab something to eat in the work cafeteria.

Since I have an eight month old little boy - for the most part I am doing it Panara Style. Due to a dairy allergy my son has, the fact that I am nursing because he is allergic to all formula, and my compulsion for routine I always get a large orange juice & two pumpkin muffins (Yes two- I need the calories). There is a girl that works at my local Panara Bread in the mornings. She is so nice. She knows my name, she asks about my son, is always willing to check for dairy content if I for some reason do change my order, and genuinely seems happy to see me. She makes me want to stop at Panera in the morning.

I can't tell you how many times, I get into a kick where I will eat the same thing for lunch for a week, or will frequent the same establishment a few times a month wanting the same meal. My problem is when you do this- you are no longer a "stranger" to the person serving you. This is where they work, they go there every day because the have to. Often times my frequency is met with annoyance. "Oh goodness I have to help this customer again." I often times get strange glances or attitudes that say that they are simply annoyed to deal with me yet again. But not at Panara.

How often do we do this with our clients? People always say you are more polite to strangers than you are to your own family. Why is this, and do these same attitudes for the norm carry to our re-accruing clients? I have heard the saying over and over again "treat me like a prospect- not a client." Is this the same as treat me like a stranger not your mother?

This girl at Panera has made me feel comfortable in my own skin. Something as simple as what I want to order for breakfast is accepted and appreciated. She is Happy to See Me.

We should be doing this with all our clients, no matter how frequently they call with questions, you should receive them happily- Remember they are working with you because they chose to. Make them feel comfortable in their own skin; no matter if they are buying a muffin or a Health insurance plan. You want to project the attitude that you are happy to see them. Let me just say this, my mother went out and found a pumpkin muffin recipe for me so I could make my own muffins and save myself the $3.00 every morning; I still go to Panara - They are happy to see me.